Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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