i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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