Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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