I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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