from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
