: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
