It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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