I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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