erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
