He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
