Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize