You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
