In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
