haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
