DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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