The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
