Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
