Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
