nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
