if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
