Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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