I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
