i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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