how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize