what day is it and did you see me today?
Too much gin, very little bucket
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
