we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
