we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
