Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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