i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
