you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
