trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Drunk is not a location!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
