Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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