rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
