bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
