i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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