gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
The Olympian is in my bed
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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