P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
