Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
