Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
