I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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