i permit you to call me
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We left an ass print on the piano.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
