After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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