I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
