she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
