When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
