Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
