I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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