Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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