Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
