Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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