They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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